Reel tears: Revisiting 'Terms of Endearment' 30 years after Oscar

Debra Winger, Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment

I don't know what impresses me more -- that Terms of Endearment was ever made or that it was an enormous hit.

Sure, it boasts big stars -- Debra Winger, Shirley MacLaine and Jack Nicholson -- but it's a heartfelt comedy-drama about real people (some of whom are middle-aged) without pyrotechnics. This would be unheard of today.

The movie won a bunch of Oscars, including best picture, thirty years ago and unfortunately its reputation has diminished over time. It is now best remembered as a maudlin tearjerker and is unfairly lumped in with the more mediocre output of its director, James L. Brooks.

Jack Nicholson in Terms of Endearment

But upon closer examination this is a wonderfully acted, laugh out loud funny movie -- that yes, pulls at your heartstrings, but never in a cheap, manipulative way.

It is also, most importantly, a movie that looks honestly at the incredible bond between mothers and daughters -- a relationship dynamic that has gone woefully underrepresented in film history.

Winger and MacLaine's chemistry is terrific and that fact that they reportedly despised each other off-screen speaks volumes about their talent as actresses.

The movie also marks a crucial entry in the filmography of Nicholson. It helped him add more nuance to his big screen persona and re-established him as a box office draw in the 1980s when so many of his 70s-era peers were either absent or in the decline.

The cast has other terrific standouts like Jeff Daniels and John Lithgow, but the best in show awards go to Winger and MacLaine, who get to create complex, fully-rounded female characters who are not always glamourous but have real intelligence and humanity.

Why do we make fun of movies that make us cry? I guess we're just embarrassed, that something clearly fictional can elicit such a raw emotion from us. I'm of the school of thought that sometimes it's cathartic to have a good cry, especially when its couched in a comedy as opposed to some unrelentingly morose drama.

Terms of Endearment has the kind of humor that springs from social awkwardness and casual insensitivity -- which is more real than a convoluted crisis or gimmicky premise. Remember when comedies weren't about one thing?

With the notable exception of the work of Alexander Payne, this kind of bittersweet, humane comedy is totally extinct on the big screen.

And that is something worth crying about.