'Don Jon': A disappointing movie in the worst way

Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Don Jon

Some bad movies are excusable because the filmmakers never really had much ambition for their films in the first place (most Michael Bay films, I'd argue). Others are bad because they tried to aim high and crashed and burned (Showgirls). But the worst kind of bad movie is one that has some really smart, interesting ideas in it -- that could have made a great film -- but fatal errors keep it from fulfilling its potential.

For me, Don Jon is one of those films. It has likable stars in Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who also wrote and directed it) and Scarlett Johansson, and it wants to have something to say about the porn-addicted modern male, but in a way it's too much like the soapy romantic comedies its looking to subvert.

Personally, I never got past the casting. Gordon-Levitt casts himself and Johansson as extreme NYC stereotypes. He's a macho, misogynistic gym rat and she's a club hopping hottie who wants a "real man" like the ones she sees in the movies. They both nail their requisite "bridge and tunnel" accents, but it's like watching two kids play dress up.

Perhaps this movie wouldn't have been financed if it didn't have stars -- but I think it would have been far less distracting with unknowns. Gordon-Levitt is just too nice a guy to be believable as meat-head and Johansson also seems to be playing beneath her talents here.

Gordon-Levitt in more believable role

The porn angle is promising, this is largely unexplored territory in Hollywood movies, and it has become such a ubiquitous part of our culture over the last decade or so. And yet Don Jon's handling of the topic is largely pretty trite and then it just becomes repetitive. The first time Gordon-Levitt cuts to a graphic PornHub clip it's shocking -- when he doesn't it for the 30th time, it's numbing.

Eventually, the luminous Julianne Moore shows up and tries to inject some genuine life into the proceedings. She is the one character who doesn't play a type, and it's refreshing. But Gordon-Levitt telegraphs her story arc a little too much. And because, once again, because she's a star you know she is going to factor in the final act.

Tony Danza actually comes off more believably than anyone as Gordon-Levitt's immature father, I found myself wishing his character had more screen time.

Instead we get the same shot over and over again of Gordon-Levitt at his computer screen frowning while he pleasures himself to scene after scene of hardcore sex. It's not funny, it's not especially entertaining and I didn't really care about him or feel anything for his character.

That's because the character never rises above caricature. From his Catholic faith to his white tank tops and fastidiousness, everything about the part he plays (and wrote for himself) feel like a tired riff on The Jersey Shore. 

I do, however, think he's an interesting actor who is poised to become a major star. He has a great look and an appealing presence. I have never been a Brick fanatic, but I enjoyed his work in Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Looper was a real breakthrough part for him.

There's been some speculation about his sexual orientation but frankly, I don't care about that. I just remember his adorably funny performance in a lip-syching contest on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show, and I think that's the kind of guy he should be playing.

A few years ago, there was a lot of talk that Shia LaBeouf was the "next Tom Hanks" -- a sentiment that would be laughable to most moviegoers now. But I think with the right film and the perfect role, Joseph Gordon-Levitt could be ideal the everyman star for our time.

But Don Jon is a step in the wrong direction.