'Bachelor Party' is mostly an exercise in bad taste

Some 1980s movies are both perfect artifacts of their time and pop culture masterpieces that still stand the test of time -- I'm thinking Ghostbusters or E.T. or the first three Indiana Jones movies -- and then there are films like Bachelor Party, which you hope will be an infectious romp, but wind up being an unmitigated bummer.

I had never seen the movie and never felt a particularly strong urge to, but since I took the day off (today's my birthday) and I'm hosting my own bachelor party tomorrow, I figured I'd give it a whirl -- boy, was it bad.

I think of all the performers in the movie, Tom Hanks walks away more or less unscathed.

I am sure this is not a film he'd want to be fondly remembered for when he accepts his inevitable Cecile B. DeMille award though. After seeing his very amusing cameo in the debut episode of Maya & Marty, I did think I'd like to see him do a broad comedy again.

People forget that he was largely known as a comic actor until the mid-90s when he became a bonafide phenomenon; in fact he was often the third choice for roles after Bill Murray or Chevy Chase passed.

Not Tom Hanks' best moment

Here he plays a pretty moronic character who clearly is not too enthused about getting married, but we're supposed to root for him because he resists sleeping with other women on the night of his bachelor party. There's nothing here that anticipates the future two-time Oscar winner's true talent.

What is here is one of the most unfunny, misogynistic and tasteless movies I've seen in a while -- unless a donkey overdosing from cocaine is your idea of a laugh riot. There's a little bit of T&A if that is enough to sustain you. And there was one sequence that did mildly amuse me -- a fight scene at the end in a movie theater showing a 3-D film -- where the action syncs with what's taking place on screen. The rest is basically a lot of unfortunate racial humor and anti-women hostility.

This film pretty much captures the opposite of what I would want out of a bachelor party. A lot of bitter, angry guys who either resent being married or ridicule their friend for getting married. They surround themselves with a bevy of prostitutes, none of whom get an ounce of character development, who we're led to believe they're all sleeping with for the duration of the evening.

The Pimp

Later in the film another woman shows up -- who apparently has held a longtime crush on Hanks' character -- she disrobes and offers herself to him, and when he turns her down she basically becomes an afterthought who gets utilized in a prank that gets played on the "bad guy."

Speaking of the bad guy -- he's the cliched, atrocious, WASPy blonde guy that was a staple in the '80s. He is after Hanks' fiancee (video vixen Tawny Kitaen!) and literally offers to swap his new Porsche for her. But in reality he's no more repugnant that our heroes, one whom is featured in a horribly dated, transphobic scene that is demeaning to everyone involved.

And then there's the "pimp." The filmmakers probably thought they were doing people of color a solid, by not casting a stereotypical black actor, but they go with a goofy, offensive Indian guy instead.

I am all for politically incorrect -- if it's funny. But despite some aggressive efforts to create a raucous atmosphere, the whole movie feels so hollow. There's not really much of a story per se. Hanks' horndog friends seem to be fully supportive of the notion that he should cheat on his fiancee, meanwhile she and her dimwitted friends try to have a wild night of there own -- which somehow climaxes when them dressing up as prostitutes too. Yes, besides a nun who appears early in the film, every woman who appears in this film is either a hooker or dresses like one at some point.

The tone of the movie is set from almost the very first scene, where Hanks' sidekick, the 80's-era stud Adrian Zmed, photographers a buxom woman and her son at a department store. The camera zooms in on her cleavage and then Zmed takes great pains to marginalize the child so he can ogle the woman. It's not funny, it's not interesting, it's just there.

Needless to say, my real life bachelor party should be a more gratifying experience.